“Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness” by Steve Magness challenges the traditional understanding of toughness and resilience. The book argues that real toughness is not about aggression or suppressing emotions, but rather about navigating discomfort, embracing challenges, and developing emotional intelligence.
Magness emphasizes the importance of trust, inclusion, and humility in creating environments that foster real toughness. He explores the role of emotional intelligence, a growth mindset, and self-awareness in developing resilience and making effective decisions. The concept of a quiet ego is introduced as a means of balancing confidence with self-awareness and openness to others.
Throughout the book, practical advice is provided on how to develop real toughness, including trusting one’s training, embracing challenges, and cultivating a growth mindset. Magness highlights the importance of understanding and interpreting emotions, as well as the value of feedback and self-reflection.
The book challenges the notion that toughness is about rigid control and instead promotes a more flexible and adaptive approach. It encourages individuals to work with their body and mind, rather than against them, and to navigate discomfort rather than bulldozing through challenges.
Overall, “Do Hard Things” offers a science-driven approach to developing real toughness and resilience. It encourages readers to embrace challenges, develop emotional intelligence, and cultivate a growth mindset in order to thrive in various aspects of life.
About the Author:
Steve Magness is a renowned coach, author, and speaker in the field of sports performance and human potential. He has a deep understanding of the science behind endurance training, resilience, and performance optimization. Magness has worked with elite athletes across various sports, including track and field, distance running, and professional team sports.
Magness has a Bachelor’s degree in Exercise Science and a Master’s degree in Kinesiology. He has served as the Head Cross Country Coach at the University of Houston and as an assistant coach at the Nike Oregon Project. Magness has also worked as a performance consultant for numerous professional athletes and teams.
In addition to “Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness,” Magness has co-authored other notable books, including “The Science of Running: How to Find Your Limit and Train to Maximize Your Performance” and “Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success” (co-authored with Brad Stulberg).
Magness is known for his evidence-based approach to coaching and his ability to translate scientific research into practical strategies for athletes and individuals seeking personal growth. He is a sought-after speaker and has delivered presentations and workshops at conferences and events worldwide.
Through his work, Magness aims to challenge conventional wisdom, promote a holistic understanding of performance and resilience, and empower individuals to reach their full potential.
Publication Details:
Title: Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness
Author: Steve Magness
Year of Publication: 2022
Publisher: HarperOne
ISBN: 978-0063047122
Edition: First Edition
Book’s Genre Overview:
“Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness” by Steve Magness falls under the genre/category of self-help and personal development. It offers insights, strategies, and practical advice for developing resilience, navigating challenges, and cultivating real toughness in various aspects of life. The book combines scientific research, personal anecdotes, and practical applications to guide readers in their journey towards personal growth and resilience.
Purpose and Thesis: What is the main argument or purpose of the book?
The main purpose of “Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness” by Steve Magness is to challenge the traditional understanding of toughness and resilience. The book argues that real toughness is not about aggression, suppression of emotions, or rigid control, but rather about navigating discomfort, embracing challenges, and developing emotional intelligence.
Magness aims to shift the focus from a model of toughness based on perceived strength and power to one that emphasizes trust, inclusion, humility, and adaptability. He explores the science behind resilience and provides practical strategies for developing real toughness in various aspects of life.
The thesis of the book is that by understanding and interpreting our emotions, embracing challenges, and cultivating a growth mindset, individuals can develop resilience, make effective decisions, and thrive in the face of adversity. Magness challenges the notion that toughness is about suppressing emotions or pushing through pain, and instead promotes a more holistic and flexible approach to navigating challenges and achieving personal growth.
Overall, the book’s main argument is that real toughness involves embracing discomfort, developing emotional intelligence, and adopting a growth mindset, leading to greater resilience and success in various areas of life.
Who should read?
The book “Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness” by Steve Magness is intended for a general audience. While it incorporates scientific research and evidence-based principles, it is written in a way that is accessible and understandable to readers who may not have a background in the field of sports performance or psychology.
The book’s practical advice, relatable examples, and actionable strategies make it relevant and valuable for individuals seeking personal growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of toughness. It is suitable for general readers who are interested in developing their emotional intelligence, navigating challenges, and cultivating resilience in various aspects of life, such as personal relationships, work, and personal goals.
While professionals and academics in fields related to sports performance, coaching, or psychology may also find value in the book, its accessible writing style and practical focus make it accessible to a broader audience seeking personal development and a deeper understanding of resilience and toughness.
Overall Summary:
“Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness” by Steve Magness challenges conventional notions of toughness and resilience. The book argues that real toughness is not about aggression or suppressing emotions, but rather about navigating discomfort, embracing challenges, and developing emotional intelligence.
Magness emphasizes the importance of trust, inclusion, and humility in fostering real toughness. He explores the role of emotional intelligence, a growth mindset, and self-awareness in developing resilience and making effective decisions. The concept of a quiet ego is introduced as a means of balancing confidence with self-awareness and openness to others.
Throughout the book, practical advice is provided on how to develop real toughness, including trusting one’s training, embracing challenges, and cultivating a growth mindset. Magness highlights the importance of understanding and interpreting emotions, as well as the value of feedback and self-reflection.
The book challenges the notion that toughness is about rigid control and instead promotes a more flexible and adaptive approach. It encourages individuals to work with their body and mind, rather than against them, and to navigate discomfort rather than bulldozing through challenges.
Overall, “Do Hard Things” offers a science-driven approach to developing real toughness and resilience. It encourages readers to embrace challenges, develop emotional intelligence, and cultivate a growth mindset in order to thrive in various aspects of life.
Key Concepts and Terminology:
1. Toughness: The book explores the concept of toughness and challenges the traditional understanding of it. It argues that real toughness is not about being aggressive or suppressing emotions, but rather about navigating discomfort, embracing challenges, and developing resilience.
2. Autonomy: The book emphasizes the importance of autonomy in developing real toughness. It suggests that coaches and leaders should focus on creating an environment that emphasizes trust, inclusion, humility, and service, rather than using an autocratic or oppressive leadership style.
3. Inner drive: The book highlights the role of inner drive in developing toughness. It suggests that true toughness comes from an inner motivation to stay focused, embrace challenges, persevere, and maintain passion.
4. Flexibility: The book advocates for flexibility as a key component of toughness. It suggests that instead of rigidly pushing forward, individuals should be adaptable and willing to adjust their approach in the face of adversity.
5. Emotional intelligence: The book emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in developing toughness. It argues that understanding and interpreting our emotions and feelings is crucial for making effective decisions and navigating challenges.
6. Trusting your training: The book emphasizes the importance of trusting one’s training and having confidence in one’s abilities. It suggests that true confidence comes from doing the work, enjoying the process, and seeking mastery of one’s craft.
7. Quiet ego: The book introduces the concept of a quiet ego, which involves keeping oneself in balance and being aware of one’s strengths and weaknesses. It suggests that a quiet ego allows for openness, receptiveness to others, and a compassionate approach to life.
8. Decision-making: The book explores the role of emotions and feelings in decision-making. It argues that feelings are necessary for making effective decisions and that understanding and interpreting them is crucial for navigating challenges.
9. Cognitive bias: The book discusses cognitive bias and how it can influence our decision-making and perception of ourselves. It suggests that acknowledging our biases and weaknesses can help us overcome defensive behaviors and improve our understanding of ourselves.
10. Growth mindset: The book promotes a growth mindset, which involves approaching challenges with a focus on growth and improvement rather than fear of failure. It suggests that true confidence and boldness are earned through hard work and a commitment to personal growth.
Case Studies or Examples:
1. Pete Carroll: The book highlights Pete Carroll, a successful coach in both college football and the NFL, as an example of a coach who embraces real toughness. Carroll focuses on creating an environment that allows players to be themselves, emphasizes meditation and yoga, and encourages flexibility and adaptability in the face of challenges.
2. Don Shula, Bill Walsh, and Tony Dungy: The book also mentions Don Shula, Bill Walsh, and Tony Dungy as examples of successful NFL coaches who prioritize a humanistic approach over an autocratic one. These coaches have achieved great success by emphasizing trust, inclusion, and humility in their leadership styles.
3. John Wooden, Dean Smith, Brad Stevens, and Mike D’Antoni: In the context of basketball, the book mentions coaches like John Wooden, Dean Smith, Brad Stevens, and Mike D’Antoni, who have achieved success by adopting a positive and humanistic approach to coaching. These coaches prioritize building confidence, creating a supportive environment, and focusing on growth and improvement.
4. The Titanic scene: The book uses the example of the climactic scene in the movie Titanic to illustrate how different scenarios can evoke different feelings and perceptions. By altering the circumstances and the characters’ actions, the book demonstrates how our emotions and judgments can be influenced by the context and interpretation of a situation.
5. LeBron James and Michael Jordan: The book references LeBron James and Michael Jordan as examples of athletes who understand the importance of trusting their training and putting in the work to build confidence. LeBron James incorporates unconventional practice methods to minimize weaknesses in his game, while Michael Jordan emphasizes the importance of practicing fundamentals to handle any situation that arises in a game.
6. Quiet ego: The book introduces the concept of a quiet ego and references the work of social psychologist Heidi Wayment. A quiet ego involves turning down the volume of the ego to listen to others and approach life with compassion and openness. It is contrasted with an overactive ego that seeks to protect one’s self-image and rationalize away failures or shortcomings.
These case studies and examples are used throughout the book to illustrate the principles and concepts of real toughness and provide practical insights into how individuals can develop resilience and make effective decisions.
Critical Analysis: Insight into the strengths and weaknesses of the book’s arguments or viewpoints
Strengths:
1. Science-driven approach: The book emphasizes that its arguments are based on scientific research and evidence. This adds credibility to the author’s viewpoints and makes the book more persuasive.
2. Emphasis on holistic toughness: The book challenges the traditional notion of toughness as aggression and suppression of emotions. Instead, it promotes a more holistic understanding of toughness that includes resilience, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. This broader perspective is valuable in promoting a healthier and more effective approach to facing challenges.
3. Use of case studies and examples: The book effectively uses case studies and examples from the worlds of sports and movies to illustrate its points. These real-life examples make the concepts more relatable and help readers understand how they can be applied in different contexts.
4. Emphasis on personal growth and self-awareness: The book encourages individuals to develop a growth mindset, trust their training, and cultivate a quiet ego. These concepts promote personal growth, self-reflection, and a balanced approach to self-confidence. This focus on self-awareness is a strength as it encourages readers to examine their own behaviors and beliefs.
Weaknesses:
1. Limited diversity of examples: While the book provides examples from various sports and movies, it could benefit from including a wider range of industries and contexts. This would make the concepts more applicable to a broader audience and avoid potential biases or limitations associated with focusing primarily on sports.
2. Lack of counterarguments: The book presents its arguments convincingly, but it could benefit from addressing potential counterarguments or alternative perspectives. This would make the book more well-rounded and allow readers to consider different viewpoints.
3. Overemphasis on individual responsibility: While the book emphasizes personal growth and self-awareness, it may downplay the role of external factors such as systemic issues or societal pressures. While individuals can develop resilience and toughness, it is important to acknowledge that external factors can also impact one’s ability to navigate challenges.
4. Limited exploration of cultural differences: The book primarily focuses on Western perspectives and examples, which may limit its applicability to readers from different cultural backgrounds. A more comprehensive exploration of cultural differences in understanding and developing toughness would enhance the book’s relevance and inclusivity.
Overall, the book presents compelling arguments and provides valuable insights into developing real toughness. However, addressing the weaknesses mentioned above would further strengthen its arguments and broaden its appeal.
FAQ Section:
1. What is the difference between real toughness and fake toughness?
Real toughness is about navigating discomfort, embracing challenges, and developing resilience. It involves emotional intelligence, adaptability, and a growth mindset. Fake toughness, on the other hand, relies on aggression, suppression of emotions, and a rigid, unyielding approach.
2. How can I develop real toughness?
Developing real toughness involves cultivating emotional intelligence, embracing challenges, and adopting a growth mindset. It also requires trusting your training, being open to feedback, and developing a quiet ego that balances confidence with self-awareness.
3. Can toughness be learned or is it innate?
Toughness can be learned and developed. While some individuals may have certain innate traits that contribute to toughness, such as resilience or adaptability, everyone has the capacity to cultivate and strengthen their toughness through practice and mindset shifts.
4. How does emotional intelligence contribute to toughness?
Emotional intelligence is crucial for toughness as it involves understanding and interpreting our emotions and feelings. By recognizing and managing our emotions effectively, we can make better decisions, navigate challenges, and maintain resilience in the face of adversity.
5. Is toughness the same as resilience?
Toughness and resilience are closely related but not identical. Resilience refers to the ability to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to change. Toughness encompasses resilience but also includes emotional intelligence, adaptability, and a growth mindset.
6. Can toughness be detrimental in certain situations?
While toughness is generally beneficial, it can become detrimental if it is rigid and inflexible. It is important to balance toughness with empathy, compassion, and the ability to adapt to different circumstances.
7. How does a growth mindset contribute to toughness?
A growth mindset, which involves seeing challenges as opportunities for growth and improvement, is essential for developing toughness. It allows individuals to approach challenges with a positive attitude, embrace failure as a learning experience, and persist in the face of setbacks.
8. Can toughness be developed in a team or organizational setting?
Yes, toughness can be developed in team or organizational settings. Leaders can create an environment that emphasizes trust, inclusion, and humility, which fosters the development of real toughness among team members. Encouraging a growth mindset and providing opportunities for challenge and growth also contribute to developing toughness.
9. How does a quiet ego contribute to toughness?
A quiet ego, which involves keeping oneself in balance and being open to others, is important for developing toughness. It allows individuals to be receptive to feedback, acknowledge weaknesses, and approach challenges with humility and compassion.
10. Can toughness be measured or quantified?
Toughness is a complex concept that is challenging to measure or quantify directly. However, its effects can be observed through behaviors such as resilience, adaptability, and the ability to navigate challenges effectively.
11. Can toughness be developed at any age?
Yes, toughness can be developed at any age. While certain aspects of toughness may be easier to develop during childhood or adolescence, individuals can continue to cultivate and strengthen their toughness throughout their lives.
12. How does toughness relate to mental health?
Toughness and mental health are interconnected. Developing real toughness involves understanding and managing emotions effectively, which contributes to overall mental well-being. Additionally, resilience and adaptability, which are components of toughness, can help individuals cope with and overcome mental health challenges.
13. Can toughness be developed through physical training?
Physical training can contribute to the development of toughness, particularly in terms of resilience, discipline, and perseverance. However, real toughness encompasses more than just physical strength and requires the cultivation of emotional intelligence and a growth mindset as well.
14. Can toughness be developed in the workplace?
Yes, toughness can be developed in the workplace. Leaders can create a supportive environment that encourages growth, resilience, and adaptability. Providing opportunities for challenge, fostering a growth mindset, and promoting emotional intelligence contribute to developing toughness among employees.
15. How does toughness impact decision-making?
Toughness influences decision-making by enabling individuals to navigate discomfort, embrace challenges, and make choices under adversity. It involves understanding and interpreting emotions and feelings, which play a crucial role in effective decision-making.
16. Can toughness be developed through exposure to adversity?
Exposure to adversity can contribute to the development of toughness, as it provides opportunities to practice resilience, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. However, it is important to approach adversity in a healthy and supported manner to ensure that it fosters growth rather than causing harm.
17. Can toughness be developed through meditation and mindfulness practices?
Meditation and mindfulness practices can contribute to the development of toughness by enhancing emotional intelligence, resilience, and the ability to navigate challenges effectively. These practices promote self-awareness, focus, and the ability to respond rather than react to difficult situations.
18. How does toughness impact leadership?
Toughness is essential for effective leadership. Leaders who possess real toughness can navigate challenges, inspire and motivate others, and create a supportive and inclusive environment. They are adaptable, emotionally intelligent, and able to make decisions under pressure.
19. Can toughness be developed in children?
Yes, toughness can be developed in children. By fostering emotional intelligence, promoting a growth mindset, and providing opportunities for challenge and growth, parents and educators can help children develop resilience, adaptability, and a healthy approach to facing challenges.
20. How does toughness impact personal growth and success?
Toughness is closely linked to personal growth and success. By developing resilience, emotional intelligence, and a growth mindset, individuals can overcome obstacles, persist in the face of setbacks, and achieve their goals. Toughness enables individuals to navigate challenges effectively and embrace opportunities for growth.
Thought-Provoking Questions: Navigate Your Reading Journey with Precision
1. How has your understanding of toughness evolved after reading this book? Did it challenge any preconceived notions you had about toughness?
2. The book emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in developing real toughness. How do you think emotional intelligence contributes to resilience and the ability to navigate challenges effectively?
3. The concept of a quiet ego is introduced in the book. How do you interpret the idea of a quiet ego, and how do you think it can impact personal growth and relationships?
4. The book provides examples of coaches and leaders who prioritize trust, inclusion, and humility over an autocratic leadership style. How do you think this approach contributes to the development of real toughness in individuals and teams?
5. The book argues that toughness is not about suppressing emotions, but rather about understanding and interpreting them. How do you think this perspective on emotions and toughness can impact decision-making and overall well-being?
6. The book suggests that real toughness involves embracing challenges and developing resilience. How do you personally approach challenges, and how do you think you can cultivate resilience in your own life?
7. The concept of a growth mindset is discussed in the book. How do you think a growth mindset contributes to developing real toughness, and how can you apply this mindset in your own life?
8. The book mentions the importance of trusting your training and having confidence in your abilities. How do you build confidence in yourself, and how do you think this confidence contributes to developing real toughness?
9. The book highlights the role of leaders in creating an environment that fosters real toughness. How do you think leaders can cultivate trust, inclusion, and humility in their teams or organizations?
10. The book discusses the potential drawbacks of fake toughness, such as rigidity and suppression of emotions. Have you ever experienced or witnessed the negative effects of fake toughness? How do you think embracing real toughness can lead to more positive outcomes?
11. The book uses various case studies and examples to illustrate its points. Which example resonated with you the most, and why? How did it enhance your understanding of the concepts discussed in the book?
12. The book challenges the traditional definition of toughness as aggression and control. How do you think this broader understanding of toughness can be applied in different areas of life, such as relationships, work, or personal goals?
13. The book suggests that toughness can be developed at any age. How do you think you can continue to cultivate and strengthen your own toughness throughout your life?
14. The book emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and acknowledging weaknesses. How do you think self-awareness contributes to developing real toughness, and how can you cultivate it in your own life?
15. The book discusses the impact of cultural differences on the understanding and development of toughness. How do you think cultural factors can influence our perception and approach to toughness?
16. The book mentions the role of adversity in developing toughness. How do you think exposure to adversity can contribute to resilience and the ability to navigate challenges effectively? How can we ensure that adversity fosters growth rather than causing harm?
17. The book suggests that toughness is not about bulldozing through challenges, but rather about navigating through discomfort. How do you personally approach discomfort and uncertainty, and how do you think this approach can contribute to developing real toughness?
18. The book highlights the importance of feedback and using it as information to guide us. How do you personally handle feedback, and how do you think it can contribute to personal growth and the development of real toughness?
19. The book discusses the relationship between toughness and decision-making. How do you think toughness influences decision-making, and how can developing real toughness enhance our ability to make effective decisions?
20. The book emphasizes the value of a growth mindset and the belief that true confidence is founded in doing the work. How do you think a growth mindset and putting in the work contribute to developing real toughness? How can you apply these principles in your own life?
Check your knowledge about the book
1. What is the main difference between real toughness and fake toughness?
a) Real toughness involves aggression and suppression of emotions.
b) Fake toughness emphasizes emotional intelligence and adaptability.
c) Real toughness is about navigating discomfort and embracing challenges.
d) Fake toughness focuses on rigidly pushing forward and controlling situations.
Answer: c) Real toughness is about navigating discomfort and embracing challenges.
2. According to the book, what is the role of emotional intelligence in developing toughness?
a) Emotional intelligence is not relevant to toughness.
b) Emotional intelligence helps in suppressing emotions for fake toughness.
c) Emotional intelligence contributes to resilience and effective decision-making.
d) Emotional intelligence hinders the development of toughness.
Answer: c) Emotional intelligence contributes to resilience and effective decision-making.
3. What does the concept of a quiet ego entail?
a) Having a loud and dominant personality.
b) Suppressing one’s ego completely.
c) Balancing confidence with self-awareness and openness to others.
d) Having a strong and assertive ego.
Answer: c) Balancing confidence with self-awareness and openness to others.
4. How can leaders foster real toughness in their teams or organizations?
a) By emphasizing control and discipline.
b) By creating an environment of trust, inclusion, and humility.
c) By promoting aggression and competition.
d) By suppressing emotions and promoting rigidity.
Answer: b) By creating an environment of trust, inclusion, and humility.
5. How does the book define toughness in relation to decision-making?
a) Toughness involves making decisions based on fear and aggression.
b) Toughness is about suppressing emotions during decision-making.
c) Toughness helps in making effective decisions under adversity.
d) Toughness has no impact on decision-making.
Answer: c) Toughness helps in making effective decisions under adversity.
6. What is the role of a growth mindset in developing toughness?
a) A growth mindset hinders the development of toughness.
b) A growth mindset promotes rigidity and inflexibility.
c) A growth mindset helps in embracing challenges and persisting in the face of setbacks.
d) A growth mindset is irrelevant to the development of toughness.
Answer: c) A growth mindset helps in embracing challenges and persisting in the face of setbacks.
7. How does the book suggest individuals can build confidence in themselves?
a) By suppressing emotions and fears.
b) By relying on external validation and praise.
c) By trusting their training and focusing on growth.
d) By avoiding challenges and risks.
Answer: c) By trusting their training and focusing on growth.
8. How does the book suggest individuals can cultivate resilience?
a) By avoiding challenges and setbacks.
b) By suppressing emotions and fears.
c) By embracing challenges and learning from failures.
d) By relying solely on external support and validation.
Answer: c) By embracing challenges and learning from failures.
9. According to the book, can toughness be developed at any age?
a) No, toughness is innate and cannot be developed.
b) Yes, toughness can be developed at any age.
c) Toughness can only be developed during childhood.
d) Toughness can only be developed during adolescence.
Answer: b) Yes, toughness can be developed at any age.
10. How does the book suggest individuals can navigate discomfort and uncertainty?
a) By bulldozing through challenges and suppressing emotions.
b) By avoiding discomfort and uncertainty altogether.
c) By developing a growth mindset and embracing challenges.
d) By relying on external guidance and control.
Answer: c) By developing a growth mindset and embracing challenges.
Comparison With Other Works:
“Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness” by Steve Magness stands out from other books in the field of resilience and toughness due to its unique perspective and approach. While many books in this genre focus on external displays of toughness and overcoming challenges through sheer willpower, Magness takes a different approach by emphasizing the importance of inner strength and acceptance.
Magness challenges the traditional notion of toughness and explores the flaws in the old-school mindset that promotes external appearances of strength. He delves into the complexities of human experiences, including struggles, doubts, and insecurities, and argues that true toughness lies in embracing these aspects of ourselves and finding meaning in our struggles.
In comparison to other works in the field, Magness combines personal anecdotes from his own experiences as a runner and coach with scientific research from cognitive psychology, neuroscience, and physiology. This blend of personal insights and scientific evidence adds depth and credibility to his arguments, making the book both relatable and informative.
As for other works by Steve Magness, “Do Hard Things” builds upon his previous book, “The Science of Running,” which focuses on the science behind training and performance in running. While “The Science of Running” primarily caters to athletes and coaches, “Do Hard Things” expands its scope to address a broader audience and explore the concept of toughness in various aspects of life.
Overall, “Do Hard Things” offers a fresh perspective on resilience and toughness, challenging conventional wisdom and providing readers with practical tools to navigate obstacles and cultivate inner strength.
Quotes from the Book:
1. “Toughness is navigating discomfort to make the best decision you can.”
2. “Real toughness is much harder than the fake kind.”
3. “Teaching guys how to feel confident enough to believe in what they’ve been prepared to do and believing what they can do and they go out there and do it.”
4. “It’s time to move away from a model based on perceived strength, power, and whatever violent military metaphor of fighting we’d like to use.”
5. “Feelings are signals that need to be understood.”
6. “Pain isn’t something to fear or push our way through; it’s a message that needs interpretation.”
7. “Feelings are subject to distortion. They depend on context and interpretation.”
8. “To gain confidence, put in the work from a place of growth, not fear.”
9. “Boldness is earned, not assumed.”
10. “A quiet ego is about keeping ourselves in balance—coming to terms with the need for confidence, but being keenly aware of the strengths and weaknesses of ourselves and our situation.”
11. “Confidence doesn’t come from doing the work out of fear or neuroticism—to practice because you are afraid to lose or fail.”
12. “True confidence is founded in doing the work.”
13. “The only way to relieve that pressure is to build your fundamentals, practice them over and over, so when the game breaks down, you can handle anything that transpires.”
14. “Our ego does many good things for us, acting like a social immune system that swats away psychological threats.”
15. “A quiet ego is about approaching life more humanely and compassionately.”
16. “Real toughness pushes us to work with our body and mind instead of against them.”
17. “Toughness is having the space to make the right choice under discomfort.”
18. “Toughness is not about bulldozing through challenges, but rather about navigating through discomfort.”
19. “Toughness is about providing the tool set to handle adversity.”
20. “Toughness is not about suppressing emotions, but about understanding and interpreting them.”
Do’s and Don’ts:
Do’s:
1. Do navigate discomfort to make the best decision you can.
2. Do embrace challenges and develop resilience.
3. Do trust your training and have confidence in your abilities.
4. Do cultivate emotional intelligence and understand and interpret your feelings.
5. Do develop a growth mindset and approach challenges with a positive attitude.
6. Do create an environment of trust, inclusion, and humility in teams or organizations.
7. Do practice self-awareness and acknowledge your weaknesses.
8. Do focus on personal growth and continuous improvement.
9. Do approach adversity as an opportunity for growth and learning.
10. Do develop a quiet ego, balancing confidence with self-awareness and openness to others.
Don’ts:
1. Don’t rely on fake toughness based on aggression or suppression of emotions.
2. Don’t fear or push your way through pain; interpret it as a message.
3. Don’t practice out of fear or neuroticism; practice from a place of growth and enjoyment.
4. Don’t let your ego dominate or rationalize away failures or weaknesses.
5. Don’t avoid challenges or risks; embrace them as opportunities for growth.
6. Don’t rely solely on external validation or praise for building confidence.
7. Don’t approach discomfort and uncertainty by bulldozing through; navigate through with flexibility and adaptability.
8. Don’t suppress or ignore your emotions; understand and interpret them as signals.
9. Don’t approach decision-making without considering emotions and feelings; use them as valuable information.
10. Don’t view toughness as rigid control; work with your body and mind instead of against them.
These do’s and don’ts summarize the key practical advice from the book, providing actionable guidance for developing real toughness, resilience, and emotional intelligence.
In-the-Field Applications: Examples of how the book’s content is being applied in practical, real-world settings
While “Do Hard Things” is a relatively new release, its content has already started to resonate with individuals and be applied in practical, real-world settings. Here are a few examples:
1. Sports Coaching: Coaches in various sports have begun incorporating the principles of real toughness outlined in the book into their coaching strategies. They focus on creating an environment that encourages athletes to embrace their struggles, develop resilience, and find meaning in their challenges. This approach helps athletes build inner strength and perform at their best under pressure.
2. Workplace Leadership: Managers and leaders in the corporate world have found value in the book’s emphasis on authenticity and vulnerability. They are adopting a more compassionate and understanding approach, encouraging open communication, and creating a supportive work environment that allows employees to navigate discomfort and challenges effectively.
3. Mental Health and Therapy: Mental health professionals have found the book’s insights valuable in their work with clients. The emphasis on acceptance, listening to one’s body, and responding instead of reacting aligns with therapeutic approaches such as mindfulness, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy. The book’s principles are being integrated into therapy sessions to help individuals develop resilience and cope with mental health challenges.
4. Personal Development and Self-Help: Readers of “Do Hard Things” have applied the book’s principles to their own lives, using them as a guide for personal growth and self-improvement. They have found value in embracing reality, listening to their bodies, responding thoughtfully to challenges, and transcending discomfort. By adopting these principles, individuals have reported increased resilience, improved decision-making, and a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment.
These are just a few examples of how the content of “Do Hard Things” is being applied in practical settings. As the book continues to gain traction, it is likely to inspire further applications and adaptations in various fields and contexts.
Conclusion
In conclusion, “Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness” by Steve Magness offers a fresh perspective on toughness and resilience. The book challenges traditional notions of toughness based on aggression and suppression of emotions, and instead promotes a holistic understanding of toughness that involves navigating discomfort, embracing challenges, and developing emotional intelligence.
The book emphasizes the importance of trust, inclusion, and humility in creating environments that foster real toughness. It highlights the role of emotional intelligence, a growth mindset, and self-awareness in developing resilience and making effective decisions. The concept of a quiet ego is introduced as a means of balancing confidence with self-awareness and openness to others.
Throughout the book, practical advice is provided on how to develop real toughness, including trusting one’s training, embracing challenges, and cultivating a growth mindset. The importance of understanding and interpreting emotions, as well as the value of feedback and self-reflection, is emphasized.
While the book offers valuable insights and practical guidance, it could benefit from a more diverse range of examples and a deeper exploration of cultural differences in understanding and developing toughness.
Overall, “Do Hard Things” challenges conventional wisdom and provides readers with a science-driven approach to developing real toughness. It encourages individuals to navigate discomfort, embrace challenges, and cultivate resilience in order to thrive in various aspects of life.
What to read next?
If you enjoyed “Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness” by Steve Magness and are looking for similar books to read next, here are a few recommendations:
1. “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth: This book explores the concept of grit, which is closely related to toughness and resilience. Duckworth delves into the factors that contribute to long-term success and provides insights on how to develop grit in oneself and others.
2. “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck: This book examines the power of mindset and how our beliefs about intelligence and abilities can impact our success. Dweck explores the differences between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, and offers strategies for cultivating a growth mindset to overcome challenges and achieve personal growth.
3. “The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph” by Ryan Holiday: Drawing inspiration from Stoic philosophy, this book explores the idea that obstacles and challenges can be opportunities for growth and success. Holiday provides practical advice on how to approach adversity with resilience, adaptability, and a positive mindset.
4. “Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life” by Eric Greitens: In this book, Greitens shares insights on resilience gained from his experiences as a Navy SEAL and humanitarian worker. He offers practical strategies for building resilience and navigating challenges, drawing from personal stories and the wisdom of ancient and modern thinkers.
5. “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy” by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant: Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, and Grant, a psychologist, explore the topic of resilience in the face of adversity. They provide personal stories, research, and practical advice on how to build resilience and find joy in the midst of difficult circumstances.
These books delve into various aspects of resilience, mindset, and personal growth, offering valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating challenges and developing toughness.