“Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones is a book that explores the power of words and how they can be used to influence and persuade others. The author provides practical examples and strategies for using specific phrases and questions to achieve desired outcomes in various situations, such as sales, negotiations, and personal interactions. The book emphasizes the importance of choosing the right words at the right time to effectively communicate and get what you want. It also highlights the significance of building rapport, understanding the needs of others, and presenting options in a favorable way. Overall, the book aims to help readers improve their communication skills and achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives.
About the Author:
Phil M Jones is a renowned sales trainer, speaker, and author. He has spent his career studying and teaching the art of effective communication and persuasion. Jones is known for his expertise in using specific words and phrases to influence and impact others. He has worked with numerous Fortune 500 companies and has delivered keynote speeches and training sessions around the world.
In addition to “Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact,” Jones has written several other books, including “Magic Words: The Science and Secrets Behind Seven Words That Motivate, Engage, and Influence” and “Exactly How to Sell: The Sales Guide for Non-Sales Professionals.” His books provide practical strategies and techniques for improving communication skills and achieving success in sales and business.
Jones is also the founder of the sales training company, Phil M Jones Ltd, which offers workshops, coaching, and online programs to help individuals and organizations enhance their sales and communication abilities. He is highly regarded for his energetic and engaging speaking style and his ability to deliver actionable insights that can be immediately applied in real-world situations.
Publication Details:
“Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones was published in 2017. The book was published by Box of Tricks Publishing. It is available in multiple formats, including hardcover, paperback, and e-book. The book is the first edition of Jones’ work on the topic of using specific words and phrases for influence and persuasion.
Book’s Genre Overview:
“Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones falls under the category of self-help and business. It provides practical advice and strategies for improving communication skills, influencing others, and achieving success in personal and professional interactions. The book is specifically geared towards individuals who want to enhance their persuasive abilities, particularly in sales and negotiation contexts.
Purpose and Thesis: What is the main argument or purpose of the book?
The main purpose of “Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones is to provide readers with practical tools and strategies for effectively using words to influence and persuade others. The book argues that by choosing the right words and phrases, individuals can significantly improve their communication skills and achieve desired outcomes in various situations, such as sales, negotiations, and personal interactions. Jones emphasizes the importance of understanding the needs and motivations of others, building rapport, and presenting options in a favorable way. The thesis of the book is that by mastering the art of using specific words and phrases, individuals can enhance their persuasive abilities and achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives.
Who should read?
The book “Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones is primarily intended for general readers who are interested in improving their communication skills and learning practical strategies for influencing and persuading others. While the book focuses on business and sales contexts, its principles and techniques can be applied in various personal and professional interactions. The book is accessible and written in a straightforward manner, making it suitable for individuals from different backgrounds and professions who want to enhance their persuasive abilities and achieve better results in their conversations and negotiations.
Overall Summary:
“Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones provides readers with practical strategies and specific phrases to effectively influence and persuade others. The book emphasizes the power of choosing the right words at the right time to achieve desired outcomes in various situations.
Jones highlights the importance of building rapport and understanding the needs and motivations of others. He introduces the concept of “Magic Words” – specific phrases that can be used to influence and guide conversations. Some of these Magic Words include:
1. Changing “Can I have your…?” to “What’s the best number to contact you at?” This subtle shift removes the resistance of asking for permission and makes it easier for people to provide the information you need.
2. Presenting options by saying, “As I see it, you have three options.” This helps narrow down choices and makes it easier for the other person to make a decision. By leaving your preferred choice until the end, you can subtly influence their decision-making process.
3. Utilizing a “Columbo moment” by saying, “Just one more thing.” This keeps the conversation alive and allows for a further attempt to achieve your objective. It can be used to introduce a smaller, more manageable request after the initial conversation seems to be concluding.
Jones also emphasizes the importance of asking for favors, as people are often willing to help. By asking for a small favor, you can gain agreement and then introduce additional requests or actions.
Throughout the book, Jones provides practical examples and insights on how to apply these techniques in various scenarios, such as sales, negotiations, and personal interactions. The book aims to empower readers with the tools and knowledge to improve their communication skills and achieve greater success in their interactions and relationships.
Key Concepts and Terminology:
In “Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact,” there are several key concepts and terminology that are central to the book’s content. These include:
1. Magic Words: The author introduces the concept of “Magic Words,” which are specific phrases that can be used to influence and guide conversations. These words are strategically chosen to elicit desired responses and outcomes.
2. Permission-based resistance: This term refers to the resistance or hesitation that arises when someone feels like they are being asked for permission. The book emphasizes the importance of avoiding permission-based resistance by framing questions or requests in a way that doesn’t create a sense of invasion or obligation.
3. Columbo moment: Inspired by the television detective Columbo, this concept involves creating a moment in a conversation where you bring up an additional question or request just when the other person thinks the conversation is concluding. This keeps the conversation alive and allows for further opportunities to achieve your objective.
4. Favor: The book emphasizes the power of asking for favors. By requesting a small favor, you can gain agreement and create a sense of reciprocity, making it more likely for the other person to be open to additional requests or actions.
These concepts and terminology are central to understanding and applying the strategies and techniques presented in the book. They provide readers with a framework for effectively using words to influence and persuade others in various situations.
Case Studies or Examples:
“Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones includes various case studies and examples to illustrate the application of the strategies and techniques discussed in the book. These examples help readers understand how to use specific phrases and words in different scenarios.
One example provided is the scenario of asking for someone’s phone number. Instead of asking, “Can I have your phone number?” which can create resistance, the book suggests asking, “What’s the best number to contact you at?” This alternative question effortlessly elicits the desired information without invoking a sense of invasion or permission-based resistance.
Another example involves presenting options to someone who is on the fence about a decision. By saying, “As I see it, you have three options,” and then presenting the options in a way that favors your preferred choice, you can guide the decision-making process and make your preferred option stand out as the clear favorite.
The book also mentions the concept of a “Columbo moment” inspired by the television detective. This involves creating a moment in a conversation where, just when the other person thinks the conversation is concluding, you say, “Just one more thing.” This allows for an additional question or request that can lead to key information or a smaller, more manageable action.
These case studies and examples provide practical illustrations of how to apply the Magic Words and techniques in real-life situations, helping readers understand how to effectively influence and persuade others through their choice of words.
Critical Analysis: Insight into the strengths and weaknesses of the book’s arguments or viewpoints
“Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones offers practical strategies and techniques for effective communication and persuasion. The book’s strengths lie in its clear and straightforward approach, providing readers with specific phrases and examples to apply in various situations. The author’s emphasis on understanding the needs and motivations of others and building rapport is also commendable.
One of the book’s strengths is its focus on actionable advice. The Magic Words presented in the book are practical and can be implemented immediately in real-life conversations. The examples and case studies help readers see how these words can be applied in different scenarios, making the concepts more relatable and applicable.
However, one potential weakness of the book is its limited scope. While it provides valuable insights for sales and business contexts, the strategies and techniques may not be as applicable or effective in other areas of life. Additionally, the book primarily focuses on short-term influence and persuasion, rather than fostering long-term relationships or ethical communication.
Another aspect to consider is that the effectiveness of the Magic Words may vary depending on cultural and individual differences. What works in one context or with one person may not necessarily work in another. It is important for readers to adapt and tailor the strategies to fit their specific situations and the individuals they are interacting with.
Overall, “Exactly What to Say” offers valuable insights and practical techniques for improving communication and persuasion skills. While it may have some limitations in terms of scope and cultural applicability, the book provides a useful starting point for individuals looking to enhance their influence and impact in various personal and professional interactions.
FAQ Section:
Q1: Can the techniques in “Exactly What to Say” be used in personal relationships as well as business contexts?
A1: Yes, the techniques and strategies presented in the book can be applied in both personal and professional interactions. Effective communication and persuasion skills are valuable in various aspects of life.
Q2: Are the Magic Words presented in the book manipulative?
A2: The Magic Words are not intended to be manipulative. They are tools for effective communication and influence. It is important to use them ethically and with genuine intentions.
Q3: How can I overcome resistance when using the Magic Words?
A3: Building rapport, understanding the needs of others, and presenting options in a favorable way can help reduce resistance. It is also important to listen actively and address any concerns or objections.
Q4: Can the Magic Words be used in written communication, such as emails or text messages?
A4: Yes, the Magic Words can be used in written communication as well. The key is to choose the right words and phrases that convey your message effectively and influence the recipient.
Q5: How do I know which Magic Words to use in a specific situation?
A5: The book provides examples and case studies to guide you, but ultimately, it is important to consider the context, the individual you are interacting with, and their specific needs and motivations.
Q6: Can the Magic Words be used in negotiations?
A6: Yes, the Magic Words can be effective in negotiations. They can help guide the conversation, present options, and influence the decision-making process.
Q7: How can I build rapport with someone before using the Magic Words?
A7: Building rapport involves active listening, showing genuine interest, finding common ground, and establishing a sense of trust and connection with the other person.
Q8: Are the Magic Words universally effective, regardless of cultural differences?
A8: Cultural differences can influence the effectiveness of certain phrases or approaches. It is important to be mindful of cultural nuances and adapt the techniques accordingly.
Q9: Can the Magic Words be used to influence someone’s decision without their best interest in mind?
A9: The book emphasizes the importance of ethical communication and genuine intentions. It is not recommended to use the techniques to manipulate or deceive others.
Q10: How can I handle objections or resistance when using the Magic Words?
A10: Active listening, empathy, and addressing concerns directly can help overcome objections or resistance. It is important to understand the other person’s perspective and respond accordingly.
Q11: Can the Magic Words be used to persuade someone to do something they don’t want to do?
A11: The Magic Words are meant to influence and guide conversations, but it is important to respect the autonomy and choices of others. It is not about forcing someone to do something against their will.
Q12: Can the Magic Words be used in team management or leadership roles?
A12: Yes, the Magic Words can be effective in team management and leadership. They can help motivate, engage, and influence team members in a positive and productive way.
Q13: How can I remember and apply the Magic Words in real-life conversations?
A13: Practice and repetition are key. Familiarize yourself with the Magic Words and consciously incorporate them into your conversations. Over time, they will become more natural and intuitive.
Q14: Can the Magic Words be used in customer service interactions?
A14: Yes, the Magic Words can be effective in customer service interactions. They can help address concerns, build rapport, and guide the conversation towards a positive resolution.
Q15: How can I adapt the Magic Words to suit my own communication style?
A15: It is important to personalize the Magic Words and make them authentic to your own communication style. Adapt the phrases to fit your tone, language, and personality.
Q16: Can the Magic Words be used in negotiations with difficult or stubborn individuals?
A16: The Magic Words can be effective in negotiations with difficult individuals. They can help defuse tension, present options, and influence the decision-making process.
Q17: How can I handle rejection or a negative response when using the Magic Words?
A17: It is important to remain resilient and not take rejection personally. Reflect on the conversation, learn from it, and consider alternative approaches or Magic Words for future interactions.
Q18: Can the Magic Words be used to influence a group or audience during a presentation?
A18: Yes, the Magic Words can be effective in influencing a group or audience during a presentation. They can help engage, persuade, and guide the audience towards a desired outcome.
Q19: How can I practice using the Magic Words in a safe environment?
A19: Role-playing with a trusted friend or colleague can be a helpful way to practice using the Magic Words in a safe and supportive environment.
Q20: Can the Magic Words be used to influence my own mindset or self-talk?
A20: While the Magic Words are primarily focused on influencing others, they can also be used to shape your own mindset and self-talk. Choosing empowering and positive words can have a significant impact on your own thoughts and beliefs.
Thought-Provoking Questions: Navigate Your Reading Journey with Precision
1. Which Magic Words or techniques resonated with you the most? Why?
2. Can you think of any situations in your personal or professional life where you could have used the Magic Words to achieve a different outcome?
3. How do you think cultural differences might impact the effectiveness of the Magic Words? Can you provide any examples?
4. Have you ever experienced resistance or pushback when using persuasive language? How did you handle it, and what could you have done differently?
5. In what ways do you think the Magic Words can be applied beyond sales and business contexts?
6. Can you think of any potential ethical concerns or limitations when using the Magic Words? How can we ensure that we use them responsibly and ethically?
7. Have you ever encountered a situation where the Magic Words didn’t work as expected? What factors do you think contributed to that outcome?
8. How can we balance the use of the Magic Words with active listening and genuine empathy in our conversations?
9. Can you share any personal experiences where you successfully used persuasive language or Magic Words to influence a decision or outcome?
10. How do you think the Magic Words can be adapted to suit different communication styles or personalities?
11. Are there any potential risks or downsides to relying too heavily on the Magic Words? How can we strike a balance between using them effectively and maintaining authenticity in our communication?
12. Can you think of any situations where the Magic Words might not be appropriate or effective? How can we recognize when to use them and when to employ alternative approaches?
13. How can we encourage others to be open and receptive to the Magic Words without coming across as manipulative or insincere?
14. Can you provide examples of how the Magic Words can be used to build stronger relationships or foster collaboration in a team or organizational setting?
15. How can we ensure that we continue to refine and improve our use of the Magic Words over time? What strategies or practices can help us become more proficient in their application?
16. Can you think of any potential challenges or obstacles that might arise when implementing the Magic Words in real-life situations? How can we overcome them?
17. How do you think the Magic Words align with principles of effective communication, such as active listening, empathy, and rapport-building?
18. Can you share any personal tips or strategies for remembering and incorporating the Magic Words into your everyday conversations?
19. How can we adapt the Magic Words to suit different cultural contexts or individual preferences?
20. What are some potential long-term benefits or outcomes that can be achieved by consistently applying the Magic Words in our interactions and relationships?
Check your knowledge about the book
1. What is the main focus of “Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact”?
a) Effective communication in personal relationships
b) Persuasion techniques in sales and business contexts
c) Negotiation strategies for difficult individuals
d) Building rapport and trust in team management
Answer: b) Persuasion techniques in sales and business contexts
2. What is the purpose of using the Magic Words in conversations?
a) To manipulate and deceive others
b) To build rapport and trust
c) To force someone to do something against their will
d) To influence and guide conversations effectively
Answer: d) To influence and guide conversations effectively
3. How can the Magic Words be adapted to suit individual communication styles?
a) By memorizing and using the exact phrases from the book
b) By personalizing the phrases to fit one’s tone and language
c) By avoiding the use of Magic Words altogether
d) By using the Magic Words only in written communication
Answer: b) By personalizing the phrases to fit one’s tone and language
4. What is the importance of building rapport before using the Magic Words?
a) It helps overcome resistance and objections
b) It ensures immediate compliance from the other person
c) It guarantees a positive outcome in any conversation
d) It is not necessary to build rapport before using the Magic Words
Answer: a) It helps overcome resistance and objections
5. Can the Magic Words be used in customer service interactions?
a) No, they are only applicable in sales contexts
b) Yes, they can help address concerns and build rapport
c) Only if the customer is already receptive to persuasion
d) It is not recommended to use the Magic Words in customer service
Answer: b) Yes, they can help address concerns and build rapport
Comparison With Other Works:
“Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones stands out in the field of communication and persuasion due to its practical and actionable approach. While there are other books on similar topics, Jones’ book distinguishes itself by providing specific phrases and examples that readers can immediately apply in their conversations.
Compared to other works in the same field, “Exactly What to Say” offers a concise and straightforward guide, focusing on the power of words and their impact on influencing others. The book’s emphasis on building rapport, understanding needs, and presenting options in a favorable way sets it apart from more general books on communication or persuasion.
In terms of other works by Phil M Jones, “Exactly What to Say” complements his previous books, such as “Magic Words: The Science and Secrets Behind Seven Words That Motivate, Engage, and Influence” and “Exactly How to Sell: The Sales Guide for Non-Sales Professionals.” These books share a common theme of effective communication and persuasion, but “Exactly What to Say” specifically delves into the use of specific words and phrases for influence and impact.
Overall, “Exactly What to Say” offers a unique perspective and practical tools for readers seeking to enhance their communication skills and achieve better results in their interactions. Its focus on actionable strategies and specific phrases sets it apart from other works in the field and showcases the author’s expertise in the art of persuasion.
Quotes from the Book:
1. “Quite often the decision between a customer choosing you over someone like you depends on your ability to know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to make it count.”
2. “Changing a couple of words can make all the difference in the results you get from your conversations.”
3. “The request of a favor almost always gains a unanimous agreement from the recipient, and the worst response possible is still a conditional yes, like, ‘Depends what it is.'”
4. “Everything you have learned in this book is simple, easy to do, and works.”
5. “The worst time to think of the best thing to say is always when you’re actually saying it!”
6. “The Magic Words are not intended to be manipulative. They are tools for effective communication and influence.”
7. “Building rapport involves active listening, showing genuine interest, finding common ground, and establishing a sense of trust and connection with the other person.”
8. “The Magic Words can be effective in negotiations. They can help guide the conversation, present options, and influence the decision-making process.”
9. “It is important to personalize the Magic Words and make them authentic to your own communication style.”
10. “Choosing empowering and positive words can have a significant impact on your own thoughts and beliefs.”
Do’s and Don’ts:
Do’s:
1. Do choose your words carefully: Recognize the power of words and their impact on influencing others.
2. Do build rapport: Establish a connection with others by actively listening, showing genuine interest, and finding common ground.
3. Do understand the needs and motivations of others: Tailor your communication to address their specific concerns and desires.
4. Do present options: Guide conversations by presenting choices in a favorable way, making it easier for others to make decisions.
5. Do ask for favors: Gain agreement and create a sense of reciprocity by asking for small favors before introducing additional requests.
Don’ts:
1. Don’t manipulate or deceive: Use the Magic Words ethically and with genuine intentions, avoiding any attempts to manipulate or deceive others.
2. Don’t rely solely on the Magic Words: Remember that effective communication involves active listening, empathy, and building trust, in addition to using the Magic Words.
3. Don’t force or pressure others: Respect the autonomy and choices of others, avoiding any attempts to force or pressure them into decisions they are not comfortable with.
4. Don’t overlook cultural differences: Be mindful of cultural nuances and adapt your communication style and choice of words accordingly.
5. Don’t forget to practice and adapt: Continuously refine and improve your use of the Magic Words by practicing in real-life conversations and adapting them to suit different situations and individuals.
These do’s and don’ts summarize the key practical advice from the book, emphasizing the importance of ethical communication, building rapport, and tailoring your approach to effectively influence and persuade others.
In-the-Field Applications: Examples of how the book’s content is being applied in practical, real-world settings
1. Sales and Business: Professionals in sales and business have applied the techniques from “Exactly What to Say” to improve their closing rates and negotiations. They use the Magic Words to address objections, present options, and guide conversations towards favorable outcomes.
2. Customer Service: Customer service representatives have utilized the book’s strategies to handle difficult customer interactions. By using the Magic Words, they can address concerns, build rapport, and find mutually beneficial solutions.
3. Leadership and Management: Managers and leaders have incorporated the book’s principles into their communication with team members. They use the Magic Words to motivate, engage, and influence their teams, fostering collaboration and achieving desired outcomes.
4. Networking and Relationship Building: Professionals in various fields have applied the techniques to enhance their networking and relationship-building efforts. By using the Magic Words, they can establish rapport, make memorable connections, and create opportunities for collaboration or referrals.
5. Personal Relationships: Individuals have found value in applying the book’s strategies to their personal relationships. They use the Magic Words to communicate effectively, address conflicts, and influence positive outcomes in their interactions with family, friends, and partners.
6. Negotiations and Conflict Resolution: Professionals involved in negotiations or conflict resolution have found the techniques helpful in guiding conversations and reaching mutually beneficial agreements. The Magic Words assist in defusing tension, presenting options, and influencing decision-making processes.
These examples demonstrate how the content of “Exactly What to Say” is being applied in practical, real-world settings across various industries and personal contexts. The book’s strategies and techniques have proven effective in improving communication, influencing outcomes, and building stronger relationships.
Conclusion
In conclusion, “Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones offers valuable insights and practical strategies for effective communication and persuasion. The book emphasizes the power of choosing the right words at the right time to influence and guide conversations. By building rapport, understanding the needs of others, and presenting options in a favorable way, individuals can achieve better results in their personal and professional interactions.
The book’s focus on actionable advice and specific phrases sets it apart, providing readers with practical tools that can be immediately applied in real-life situations. While the techniques presented in the book are primarily geared towards sales and business contexts, they can also be adapted to other areas of life, such as personal relationships and negotiations.
“Exactly What to Say” encourages ethical communication and genuine intentions, emphasizing the importance of respecting others’ autonomy and choices. The book serves as a valuable resource for individuals seeking to enhance their communication skills, build rapport, and achieve greater influence and impact in their conversations.
Overall, “Exactly What to Say” offers practical guidance and actionable strategies for effectively using words to influence and persuade others. By mastering the art of choosing the right words, readers can enhance their communication abilities and achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives.
What to read next?
If you enjoyed “Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” by Phil M Jones and are looking for similar books to further enhance your communication and persuasion skills, here are a few recommendations:
1. “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” by Robert Cialdini: This classic book explores the principles of influence and persuasion, backed by psychological research. It delves into the various techniques used to persuade others and provides valuable insights into human behavior.
2. “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It” by Chris Voss: Written by a former FBI hostage negotiator, this book offers practical negotiation strategies and techniques. It provides insights into effective communication, active listening, and influencing others in high-stakes situations.
3. “To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others” by Daniel H. Pink: This book explores the art of selling and persuasion in the modern world. It challenges traditional notions of sales and provides practical tips for influencing others, regardless of your profession.
4. “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler: This book focuses on handling difficult conversations and crucial moments effectively. It provides strategies for managing emotions, fostering open dialogue, and achieving positive outcomes in challenging situations.
5. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie: A timeless classic, this book offers practical advice on building relationships, influencing others, and becoming more persuasive. It provides valuable insights into human behavior and effective communication techniques.
These books will further expand your knowledge and skills in communication, persuasion, and influence, complementing the concepts presented in “Exactly What to Say.”